Burglary !

Sub title - How to be REALLY stupid!

Tuesday night, March 4'th.

With an early start in the morning, to catch a flight from Manchester to Cork, I took myself off to bed around 10:45 and was comfortably dozing off. Before retiring I'd done my usual preparation and put my wallet, car and house keys, mobile phone, passport and Euros on the kitchen table conveniently placed to collect on my way out in the morning.

Around 11:15, my sleep was interrupted by a loud shout from downstairs "OI OI": not quite conscious I then heard my wife on the phone dialling 999 and asking for the police. Curiosity took over and I got out of bed, quickly threw on some clothes and dashed downstairs.

Although I'd gone to bed, my wife was waiting up for her son to come home and because of that, the outer porch door and front door were both unlocked. On hearing what she thought was said son coming in, but not popping into the living room to say "hello", she took a look into the hall and was somewhat suprised to see a young man, dressed mainly in black with a handful of our posessions around his person - my wife's handbag, briefcase and my conviently placed phone, wallet and car keys (though I'm delighted to say he ignored my passport).

That's when the "OI OI" came out. At that, the little toe-rag made a rapid exit to join two others waiting outside and sprint off up the road. By the time I got downstairs my wife had called the police and to my great surprise ran outside, jumped into her car and made off in hot pursuit like some avenging angel. Fortunately she didn't find the miscreants for I hate to think what the consequences might have been!

The police arrived within ten minutes and were extremely efficient, professional and sympathetic. My only disappointment was that the dog handler didn't open the doors of his van and let the dogs out. I presume they need to actually know who they are after before they do that. A search locally yielded no trace of the burglars, but did turn up the handbag and contents (minus purse, mobile phone & blackberry) in a neighbour's garden. No such luck with my wallet.

The following morning brought some better news, the briefcase and full contents were returned by a stranger having been found a few streets away and a little later my driving licence was found just two streets away and returned by another good samaritan.

So the net cost was just some cash - around £100, all our credit cards, two mobile phones, one blackberry, cars keys (for two cars both of which have had the immobilisers re-programmed but will now need their locks changing), house keys (note to thieves - "the locks have all been changed") and most of all my old tatty wallet. I've had that wallet for some 20 years. I bought it at the seaside in Royan, it was cheap and cheerful (a bit like me I like to think), and now it's gone.